DIFFERENT

Hello Friends,

Do you ever wish you could have done something different?  I’m not talking about changing what you had for breakfast or what you decided to wear today.  I’m talking about the kind of different that borderlines on a regret.

I’m outside today taking in the beautiful weather.  Some birds just landed on Country Hubby’s last remaining birdhouse attached to the shed.  He loved simple wood working projects.

In my attempt to keep him safe (and after he chopped off his left thumb), I begged him to give up chop saws.  He did stop the wood work to appease my fear of another accident.  After all, “He was taking a blood thinning medication”, is what I told myself.  What I remember now is how much it made him sad to give up that hobby.

Could I have taken the time to help him on a Saturday instead of shutting down the whole operation?  Could this city chick stopped long enough to consider the impact to my Country Hubby’s demeanor?  I’m sure I could have handled this case differently.

While I am fully aware that looking back has little benefit, it is a consequence of being the heavy as it relates to making decisions.  Through these kinds of memories, I have made a few changes in the way I react to situations that make little sense to me.   

In that regard, looking back has the potential to help me in the here and now.  Perhaps I can manage my responses and approach things in a less confrontational manner. Maybe.

My pastor is always reminding us to bear with one another.  What people need most of the time is love and acceptance.  I’m convinced that most folks don’t care if I have the experience of 50+ years of living as an adult.  Maybe it’s not necessary to share whatever insight I think I might possess, especially if I’m not asked.

Actually, does anyone think they were an adult even when they were a kid?  I do.  So then isn’t it true then that I have 60+ years of being an adult?  Doesn’t that experience have a probable advantage?  Hmmmmm?   So what?  Probably not.

I’m laughing at myself right now.  This is a rabbit trail for which I am known for spending countless minutes debating with myself.  Oh, I’m not bitter or angry about not being asked for my opinion, because before I know it, I’m putting my big foot in my mouth anyway and then saying something like, “… if you’re interested in another option… “

Oh my goodness.   Next…

One other memory on my heart today…. One thing that Country Hubby did before he was incapacitated was to advertise his boat for sale.  It was a great sacrifice for him to it and not leave that task for me after he passed away.

His 5th and final boat was his pride and joy. He logged many hours on the boat with his buddies and with the whole family.  We lugged that 21 foot pontoon boat all over south and east Texas.

Just one more thought before I make my final point…

I remember when I turned 50.  Hormonally

speaking, if you know what I mean, I chimed in about everything.  My sudden change was drastic and not at all charming.  Thank goodness I’m not like THAT anymore.

Who’s laughing now?

I’m not usually a sarcastic person so if this post seems a little weird, it’s just because the weather is wonderful and I’m talking to my wonderful pals out there. You know who you are!

The final realization for me today is that in my faith walk, I’m so glad that God is with me in the rawness of life. He is with me when I misbehave and when I am kind. I’m ever so grateful for that kind of staying power.  I am never alone and never forsaken.

That’s the model I need to emulate, more than all the lessons from my past.  Teach me, Lord.  My need is always to be Your kind of DIFFERENT.

MT Penny