Hello Hatters,
No one can carry the grief for which we experience. I keep hearing the same sentence in my head, “Everyone grieves differently.” The remark is not very soothing to the one in a deep state of lament. There’s no direction and no instruction. The only idea it brings to me is the freedom to take the path that is uniquely mine.
The who is defined. The what, when, where, how, and why are undefined, therefore not something that can be plotted or grasped. The path is as illusive as finding fairy dust. I have plenty of dust in the home, but it won’t let me fly. Oh how I would love to fly away to the place of no pain and no sorrow.
Yesterday, my family and friends gathered for Country Hubby’s Celebration of Life. I realized the it was the seventh service of the most impactful deaths that I’ve known. In my faith walk, the number seven is the number of completeness. I could relate to that meaning in a number of humanly ways. I am completely broken at the loss of Country Hubby. Yet, I am also completely grateful for his freedom from suffering. I am completely cherished in his love and completely lost in his absence. These opposites strangely compliment and express my state of mind.
I know lots of people who are grieving in many ways. Each one, like me, has to find their balance again and feel safe to lean on those who come along side to support. Lives are fragile, love is needed, and hope must carry all of us to better versions of ourselves. I don’t want to miss the beauty of having loved but lost, nor do I want to pass over the lament too quickly. This delicate journey requires me to surrender moment by moment to my Lord. He knows my path forward. He is FOR me, and I know He wants me to fulfill the purpose for which I am called.
I’m a writer who wears many hats just like you, and this journey is hard. I’m not sure I’m up to it. You may be on a difficult and different path than me. You may be in a good place and not relate at all. That’s ok. I know that no one can take my next step except me. No one can move for you either. I suppose there’s a time for action and a time for stillness. I hope to discern the pace for this dance called life. I may feel lonely, but I’m not alone.... I will share the tune. the pause, and the rhythm as completely as I am able.
Hugzzzzzzz,
MT Penny