Hello Hatters,
There are particular activities in my life that are especially enjoyable for me. In my work, I like connecting with my different teams. Many of my responsibilities include leading and teaching. I value people and share their journeys. If I have an opportunity to share an insight, I try to make it relatable. Yet, there are times when I can’t communicate well at all.
In my personal path lately, I’ve sought out advice and then I pray to make good decisions. But sometimes, I don’t. For example, a day before a freezing rain, I went to take care of some yard chores and I accidentally cut my internet cable. Mind you, it was a completely innocent action. I didn’t consult with anyone; I just was cleaning up the yard. Obviously, I needed help to rectify the situation, so I made phone calls to restore my service and I got advice as to how to use my Hotspot in the interim, or should I say internet interim. (lol. I’m off track, I get distracted.) I could have figured out how to use my Hotspot by myself, but I was flustered at my mistake and I felt dumb.
Have you ever done something without considering the consequence? In my youth, impulsivity was common. I didn’t slow down long enough to think about cause/effect. As I have aged, I am more deliberate about my actions…except when I’m not.
Do you see a pattern here? I’m sensitive about others until I’m not. I’m deliberate except when I’m not. I’m capable and then I’m not. Ok, so I’m complicated. I’m imperfectly doing life in the worst imbalance I’ve ever felt. I’m hard on myself and have unattainable task lists. Why can’t I give myself a break?
Can you relate?
I’m taking the lesson of cutting the cord to me, personally. I’ve got to tackle less, expect mistakes, and offer grace to myself. A useful application of cutting the cord relates to guilt. Cut it out and throw it in the trash like the busted internet cable. When the internet service technician showed up to repair my damage, he was kind. He calmly explained how he fixed things on the outside of my home and that these things happen. He didn’t blame or accuse.
Additionally, my son-in-law showed me step by step how to use my Hotspot and how to connect it to my computer. His gentleness melted my frustrated state. I’m blessed that complete stranger, various family members, and friends come along beside of me in my brokenness.
I’d like to cut the cord on being hard on myself. Perhaps I take on responsibilities with too much stress, so break that bond also. Instead, it’s better to connect each new day with the streaming source of my faith walk. As I do, will I be more effective with meaningful and lasting actions? Will I have time to be still or more still than I am now?
I know I’m more fractured than ever before. I know the deep down rawness of grief. I know that the days ahead may even be harder than now. Yet, the best knowledge is reassurance that I’m not alone, and I’m loved by my Almighty Savior. He holds me and He has my purpose. That head knowledge travels deeply into my innermost self.
As a writer who wears many hats just like you, I long to live well and help others. I desire to cut the cord on anything that holds me back… especially anything in me. May God reveal those things and continue His Work in me. I need His guidance on this path forward.
MT Penny